It is so hard for me to commit my thoughts. It is hard for me to commit to anything. I write a post in my blog and end up erasing it. I don't really know why. Am I afraid of somebody knowing my thoughts too much? Am I afraid of looking stupid with my thoughts?
I know my if my family has heard it once they have heard it a hundred times, when I say, "I cannot commit to anything. The only thing I have ever committed to is Bob Case and Jesus." And my family, I am committed to them all the way. Don't know why I am that way, but I just am. I can't commit to lunch or shopping with a girlfriend, can't fully commit to a job, can't commit to doing anything for anybody, except my family. My family is the most important thing in the world to me and I don't care what anybody else thinks I should do or not do, they come first with me.
I am also fully committed to Jesus Christ. He died upon a cross for me, paid for my sins with His blood, and I will never go back to the way I was before I committed my life to Him. I made the decision to turn my life over to Him several years ago and have tried to live for Him ever since. I regret living so long without Him in my life but you can never go back and get a do-over, you can just go forward. Sometimes I think I am the worst Christian ever, but God doesn't require me to be the best Christian ever, just to believe, accept and live my life for Him. That I can do.
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