I like to sing. I really like to sing. I am not a good singer. I have recorded myself countless times, old tape recorder, old cassette recorder, computer, cell phone. I can hear okay, I just don't sound that good singing.
Before I decided I didn't sound good, I was singing everywhere. At church, I'd sing a special, well, I might sing two or three. Go to a singing at a different church, I'd sing a couple.
I always thought I sounded okay, until, I recorded myself. Then there is no way to fool yourself or deny the truth, I stink at singing. I want to sing well. I have always wanted to sing but it just isn't meant to be.
I am not going to sing again at church, unless I get some kind of "sign" from God that I am supposed to. I have a sign I have asked for, if I am supposed to sing, and have never had it revealed to me.
I used to ask for a sign, Lord, if I am supposed to sing, let someone ask me to.....then hint to people about singing. I wasn't fishing for compliments exactly, I just wanted to sing and wanted them to like it.
People would tell me, You sing with a lot of heart...okay, I know what that means...I don't want to be the person that sounds awful but puts her heart into it. I can put my heart into something I am good at, like....like....well...nothing comes to mind that I am good at, I am kind mediocre....but....
I would have rather somebody just tell me outright that I wasn't a good singer and shouldn't sing, then let me sing like I did for years.
It does kind of dawn on a person after a few years that nobody is asking them to sing....oh my how awful I must have sounded...
But, I still like to sing. There are a few people who like to hear me sing. One of them called a few days ago and asked if he and his wife could stop by and me sing a song they liked that they had heard me sing. He would play the guitar for me.
It was lots of fun. We sung that song two or three times, then sung a couple out of a church songbook, then he had me go through a stack of songs he had written out and see if I could sing any of them. He and his wife ended up singing one of those, to me.
One time at another church, a pair of sisters who are well known singers in our area told me they loved my singing. Was I going to make a CD? I thought they were joking but no, they were serious. Really?
Well of course I have sat around and thought about what songs I would sing on a CD if ever I was good enough to have one made. I have several songs I used to sing that I love, or people have told me I did a good job on. Gonna list them right here, for my viewing pleasure, and when I am alone, I will sing my songs and pretend that I sound good.
Someday, when I get to Heaven, I will have a beautiful voice. I hope. I'm really not sure if I will or if Jesus will be like some of the people here and say "Just sing it and put your heart into it and it will be beautiful." My heart knows that but my mind says no way. BTW Jesus...I want to play the piano and the guitar too.
Before I decided I didn't sound good, I was singing everywhere. At church, I'd sing a special, well, I might sing two or three. Go to a singing at a different church, I'd sing a couple.
I always thought I sounded okay, until, I recorded myself. Then there is no way to fool yourself or deny the truth, I stink at singing. I want to sing well. I have always wanted to sing but it just isn't meant to be.
I am not going to sing again at church, unless I get some kind of "sign" from God that I am supposed to. I have a sign I have asked for, if I am supposed to sing, and have never had it revealed to me.
I used to ask for a sign, Lord, if I am supposed to sing, let someone ask me to.....then hint to people about singing. I wasn't fishing for compliments exactly, I just wanted to sing and wanted them to like it.
People would tell me, You sing with a lot of heart...okay, I know what that means...I don't want to be the person that sounds awful but puts her heart into it. I can put my heart into something I am good at, like....like....well...nothing comes to mind that I am good at, I am kind mediocre....but....
It does kind of dawn on a person after a few years that nobody is asking them to sing....oh my how awful I must have sounded...
But, I still like to sing. There are a few people who like to hear me sing. One of them called a few days ago and asked if he and his wife could stop by and me sing a song they liked that they had heard me sing. He would play the guitar for me.
It was lots of fun. We sung that song two or three times, then sung a couple out of a church songbook, then he had me go through a stack of songs he had written out and see if I could sing any of them. He and his wife ended up singing one of those, to me.
One time at another church, a pair of sisters who are well known singers in our area told me they loved my singing. Was I going to make a CD? I thought they were joking but no, they were serious. Really?
Well of course I have sat around and thought about what songs I would sing on a CD if ever I was good enough to have one made. I have several songs I used to sing that I love, or people have told me I did a good job on. Gonna list them right here, for my viewing pleasure, and when I am alone, I will sing my songs and pretend that I sound good.
Someday, when I get to Heaven, I will have a beautiful voice. I hope. I'm really not sure if I will or if Jesus will be like some of the people here and say "Just sing it and put your heart into it and it will be beautiful." My heart knows that but my mind says no way. BTW Jesus...I want to play the piano and the guitar too.
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